COVID CONFESSION #1: I am a Hoarder

The Jeep was packed. Our passports in hand! We had hit the road for our first March-break vacation to Florida! We were ready for the beach. The warmth! The sun! But in just 2 hours in the unthinkable happened: ‘school was closing due to COVID-19.’

It has been 5 weeks to the day that we parked at an empty casino lot, stared at the Blue Water Bridge, and mulled over the question of the decade: 

‘go on - or - go home’ 

We went home.

Until next year, sweet Floridian sun. Lord willing.

These past 5 weeks have stirred up a range of emotions, reflections, and existential angst! My inner CPU is overheating trying to process this experience. I doubt my experience is much different than yours. Rearrange the characters, setting, and scene - and voila! We are all stuck at shore. And while this time has been a struggle, I have also learned a few things about myself.

I call them my COVID CONFESSIONS.

COVID CONFESSION #1: I am a Hoarder 

It’s true. Not a full blown ‘Hoarders’ hoarder. I am more of a selective non-essential-goods kind of hoarder. Since the pandemic I have found myself pacing the aisles of the grocery store: ‘What if they run out my favourite energy bar?!’ - ‘What if cocoa farms stop growing cocoa beans?!’ - ‘What is going to happen to coffee bean plantations - indie-roasters - and the world’s coffee supply chain?!’ I can’t go on without the smooth rich taste of Illy Intenso 100% Arabic whole bean blend! 

I feel the panic. I want to fill my cart. I have to fight the urge to overbuy. 

Coffee. Chocolate. Clifbars. You know, the essentials. Not things like diapers for my toddler, or chicken thighs for my family, or toilet paper and sanitizer. No, I am loading my cart with my personal favourite luxury items.

I know I should never go grocery shopping when hungry and alone. I am now learning to never go grocery shopping when hungry and alone in a pandemic. 

But I don’t just hoard luxury food stuffs. I hoard things like cardboard and paper, pipe cleaners and paperclips. Markers. Pencils. Random wire and fabric. My inner crafty has been spooked. ‘What if the world runs out of crafting materials?!’ I need more foam Spartacus swords for trampoline fights! How can I survive without paperclips. How would I organize my papers?

Pro tip: you need half as much cardboard as you think you do.

The realization of my hoarding tendencies has been surprising and shameful. Jesus’ words rattle through my brain: ‘…sell all you have and give to the poor.’ But what is the balance between wants and needs? Where is the line between feasting and gluttony? As the world contracts in isolation and sickness, are my preferences really that important? No. They aren’t.

Congratulations Amos. 

Open the pantry doors and behold your privilege! 

That’s the COVID TRUTH.

Disclaimer: when you’re out ransacking the neighbourhood - know that I don’t have seeds, bottled water, canned goods, or camping stoves. Just the 4C-essentials! Coffee. Chocolate. Clifbars. And cardboard. No need to raid. We’re stocked up and in full supply.

And I’d be happy to share! 

CONFESSION is good for the soul. Share your heavy burden. Post your own COVID CONFESSION in the comment section below!